The only reason why I find it entertaining is because of the thrill in getting the opportunity or even a slight chance of exploration towards something I knew I wouldn’t be able to go into. Sometimes, the subject matter does not really have any significant effect in the likelihood of me pursuing it forward in the event where the opportunity given is over-exceeding my initial estimation of its potential behaviour.
It is true when they say that the journey is more important than the first step or the final step of success/failure. It is rare for me to not achieving something I wanted to get, looking at the amount of effort I put in to make it worth the I’ve tried notation, up to the I’ve given it my best label stick to my inner thought when I do some self assesments.
But sometimes trying is not enough. Or maybe, I decided not to try much. Or maybe the act of trying is just a way for us to please the relationship between the brain and the heart – but in reality, we don’t even want to try at all. Conflicts. Or maybe pure ignorance. Or maybe not really “pure” ignorance. Ignorance with a very small act of giving a damn. But with the hope of having it turned into something bigger, as if I’ve really given my best at it.